1. |
In The Beginning
04:21
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In the beginning there was nothing and there was us
And it was dark and we were lonely,
But when the light broke I could see a face
And the face was your face
And you were smiling
Because you didn’t know what was in store yet. You had not seen how strange and cruel and mystical-
How wonderful the world could be.
You had not seen the dreams that all inside your head you wish you’d kept secluded
Here they come-
Your little imaginings were bubbling up from the streams.
We named them for their hands and for their horns,
We called them out of rocks as well, that’s Balthazar,
And that one’s Freddy, he’s the fat one in the eddy,
And there’s Zeke, he’s always hungry.
He devours the eyes of children, all among them singing
Whoo-ooh
Your tongue has been telling lies against me for days- it’s time we shut it up.
Your toes have been dipping into evil waters lately.
Terror terrifying, greedy, self-deceiving, strange believing, creatures creaking,
Clawing from the dirt until they rose
And down the rosary they rode their horses.
Whoo-oh
Without pretense and without wonder, without fear we opened our hearts, without seeking and without sleekness we both laid out at his mercy-
But still the demons rose!
Water flowing from their noses, and all I could say is
Whoo-ooh
And all I could do is hope
All I could do is hope.
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2. |
Here Comes the Wave
06:00
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Hold on.
Your Holy One can have what he needs,
I only want to cling on.
Keep still! You see what I see?
The gnawing and gnashing, the dark panoply-
They shriek their seduction; their pleasure streaked sheets surround us.
We sing our elegy,
Crying out in two-part harmony,
We plead.
Watch out! We’ll wriggle and bleed.
So keep stout and grab what you need.
Fill up your cheeks and fill up your pockets if you please.
Light up the altar and sing what you sing-
We beckon down rain, pray his name through our teeth.
We screamed when we saw it, we cried out in revelry,
And Here comes the wave! How it tears through the house!
Here comes the wave! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! We’re saved!
Here comes the wave- how it blows through the horrible panoply.
How they moan, how they writhe when they all hit the sea.
So grab on my hand and run with me-
The terrible crashing, the cacophony-
I thought it would save us, you said you would save us please!
Pounding and pounding they pillage and purge,
With wave after wave till there’s one final surge.
I’ll take to the belfry you spire the minarets
And Here comes the wave! How it tears through the house!
Here comes the wave! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! We’re saved!
Here comes the wave- how it blows through the horrible panoply.
How they moan, how they writhe when they all hit the sea.
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3. |
Well Isn't This
01:17
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Nice, nice, very nice
So many creatures in the same device
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4. |
A Star is Born
02:26
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There's always someone watching me
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5. |
Can't Shake It
04:52
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My Darling, I’m always watching you
Yes I do.
My darling, I’m always watching you
Oh I do.
I second guess myself-
Should I listen to the voice that says don’t stress yourself?
Or should I listen to the void-
Fix my eyes from any moving, collect the dregs in shapes of divine choosing, always cryptic, never soothing , straining so suspiciously to separate the voice I’ve had inside my head for years.
My Darling, I’m always watching you
Yes I do.
My darling, I’m always watching you
Oh I do.
I got that niggling, those little wiggle wiggle bees
That greet me in the night, I start to wonder could it be?
Is that my better side I’m hearing crying?
Or is it just my reptilian pleasure-seeking salivating salvation that’s holding out?
Or could it be the little demon that I swallowed when it cried for help – bobbing in the surf it yelped – my mother-heart at seams tore loose: compassion now becomes the noose I cling to.
I’m always watching you.
Can’t shake the feeling there’s always someone watching me
Always I feel it, there’s someone caring what I’ll be
And when I feel it, I want to know I want to know
There’s always someone- they’re watching- a-woah-oh-oh
Can’t shake it, and so on, into freakout.
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6. |
Jesus was a Tourist
05:25
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Don’t lie to me.
Please.
I want to know
If you’ve been waiting to see me again.
You’ve got a lot of living left.
You got a lot in store.
We got a lot of living left.
I want some more.
I hadn’t half a heart to handle,
I hadn’t felt the pain-
I hadn’t lived it-
Every ounce of tear I sent down
It always seemed a game.
Now I gotta know.
I wanna know
If you’ve been waiting to see me again.
You’ve got a lot of living left.
You got a lot in store.
We got a lot of living left.
Oh, I want some more.
How long must we deny our lust for life?
How long? How long?
In time, we trust, he guides us all along.
Blue sky, how I long to be free again.
Wet eyes, failed tries, in time we all forget.
Lost lives, last tries, in time we all forget.
What we become along the lonely road!
What we become along the lonely road!
How long? Could we become the last survivors!
How lost? Could we beseech the last among us?
It’s ours, it’s ours, it’s ours, it’s in our hands-
But I want more.
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7. |
Roll Back the Stone
05:07
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With an Hallelujiah on my tongue,
Arms too weary, heart unstrung.
Roll the boulder ‘cross our path
(All good creatures come to pass)
Despair and Doubt creep in like rats
(All good creatures come to pass)
All my life entombed in earth.
All my life-
When I woke
When I woke up the air had soured.
And I found
I found only self-pity was haunting me.
And we sang our song of longing, they sang along-
Please! Sing, sing along.
With a wringing of hands we wait,
Holding hour by hour meetings.
We tickle ourselves to sleep
Holding nothing but nature sacred.
In our hollow of hollow hopes
Give us something we can rely on.
Give us something we can believe in. Please!
(Roll back the stone)
Give us something we can believe in. Please!
If I called your name,
If I call your name,
Would you hear the might?
Of the holy light?
Would you haul the weight?
Would you haul the weight?
Would you take up the slack and join us oh my brothers?
In the mounting dusk
Come and follow us.
Can’t you hear his might?
Hear the raging light?
We will haul the weight.
We will haul the weight,
Till you call out our names and free us, holy Jesus.
Holy Lord,
(With an Hallelujiah on my tongue)
(Arms too weary, heart unstrung)
All my life to praise your name.
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8. |
Just Precious
03:48
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Instrumental
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9. |
The Last Bastion
06:15
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We start
Over the ramparts
Knowing beyond hope
We’d never be back again
How we
Fought past the ennui
Bent down on old knees
And prayed for a beautiful death
Battered, bruised but not yet broken
We stood behind the walls
Beholding our unbeaten foe
Beholden to no man
We huddled with our arms in hand
Our feet held firmly to the floor
And though the legend said he’d come again
Our great king a statue stayed
The guns had all fell silent now
No more iron for the forge
And in the glistening moonlight
I looked down upon the ranks
I see them shine I see them shine
I see them shine I see them shine
We retreated to the empty church
To say our last goodbyes
We try to keep our heads held high
Forsaken by our fellow Christian men
We turned to face the dogs
We turned to face the dawn
And over the bodies still more bodies came
And into the fray I flung my sorry soul
And there where the fear and the fighting was most fierce
I left my sword I left my rotting corpse
We start
Over the ramparts
Knowing beyond hope
We’d never be back again
How we
Fought past the ennui
Bent down on old knees
And prayed for a beautiful death
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10. |
Exit Stage Left
04:09
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Come, sit beside me, warm your soul beside the fire.
I've got questions, you see, burning in me,
Just dying to be answered,
And as you can see, we've got all eternity,
It's not like you've got someplace to go-
I just want to know, so badly, I want to know.
Please, I need to know, how does it feel to feel alone?
What is it like to be lost, out in the woods, not sure how to get home?
And how does it feel to not know if the burying snow will snuff you out like a sapling?
How does it feel to be the only thing in between your birth and your death?
When you lay down to rest and think of your breath as the only thing in your lungs,
What does it mean, to be just a machine?
I know this must be something of a disappointment-
When you closed your eyes and out your last breath went-
But how does it feel to be so real, so here, so now, so small?
Just a mammal, lying down, for a final sleep,
No don't make a peep, I don't want to hear it!
I don't want to hear anything at all!
So come, sit beside me, warm your soul beside my fire.
I'm just so envious, I was never blessed with the bliss of uncertainty,
Not knowing how tomorrow will be, or if it will be,
To have that singular power that if you want in an hour
There won't be any thing at all, to fall to fall I can't remember-
it all stretches on and on and on
Oh my God, Oh my God,
To be so real, so here, so now, so small so small.
I just want to end it,
End it all.
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Peter McGuire Denver, Colorado
Peter McGuire makes experimental music.
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